Member Interview: Elizabeth Schane

We are so exited to share about Elizabeth Schane of Well Roots Counseling. Elizabeth is a gentle and thoughtful soul who offers therapy for folks during the perinatal journey. From supporting the emotions and processing of trying to conceive to adjusting to life as a growing family, Elizabeth is there to offer space for parents during this transformational time. From the comfort of your home, Elizabeth can meet you for a virtual therapy session and give you the support you deserve.

What services do you offer to folks during conception, pregnancy, birth, or postpartum? 

We offer online mental health counseling to women during pregnancy, the postpartum, and those struggling with fertility issues, birth trauma, and perinatal loss.

How did you get into your line of work?

I believe my entire life has led me to work with fertility, pregnancy, and the postpartum period, as I've always been drawn to birth and motherhood. As a middle schooler, I thought I would end up in med school specializing in OBGYN. However, I quickly learned that I faint at the sight of blood, derailing that plan.

Regarding Perinatal Mental Health, it was initially a colleague and friend who introduced me to this field. At that time, my practice focused on supporting women dealing with relationship issues and trauma. For a couple of years, my colleague asked me to see a few clients in her practice, which specializes in perinatal mental health. Lacking training in this specialty, I regularly declined.

One day, she reached out and said, "Elizabeth, I need you. Please run a group and see some clients. The mamas need you." Hearing the desperation in her voice piqued my curiosity. Her response deeply touched my heart. She shared that after having her second baby, she developed Postpartum OCD and felt I was her biggest support. Shocked, I replied, "I didn't know you were going through that." "I know," she responded, "That's how I know you need to work with this population." That conversation sealed the deal for me.

I realized that if I was going to work in this field, I needed proper training. I enrolled in training through Postpartum Support International, received supervision from my colleague and friend, and began reading any and all recommended books.

Through my own fertility journey, I became open and ready to help women dealing with infertility. The struggles we face when trying to get pregnant, only to receive negative pregnancy tests month after month, can create feelings of immense isolation and shame. Adding fertility treatments to the mix can make us feel even more alone, as if our bodies have failed us.

I knew I needed to help not only the mothers who had brought their babies into this world but also the mothers who were desperately trying to conceive. My practice expanded into Perinatal and Reproductive Mental Health, and it feels like I've found my calling in this work.

What do people think you do to support folks?

This is a great question. People often hold strong beliefs about what therapists do when they sit in front of clients. Most of the time, people tell me that a therapist's job is to give the best advice. Ad nauseam, I educate them about the purpose of therapy. If it were as simple as providing someone with a list of directives for them to achieve their goals, there wouldn't be a counseling field. It would be a one-time conversation, a "poof" of my magic wand, and people would go off living their best lives.

In reality, counseling involves not only identifying what we hope to achieve but also getting curious about what prevents us from reaching those goals. It's about understanding our inner world, which then helps us improve the relationships in our external world. For Perinatal Mental Health, becoming a mother can stir up all our insecurities and unresolved issues or traumas from our upbringing, leading to additional anxiety. Through therapy, a mother can begin to find balance between motherhood and self-care and address any past concerns that may resurface.

I can't answer this question without sharing my all-time favorite therapist myth. Every now and then, when asked about my profession, I'll mention that I'm a therapist. The follow-up question I often get is, "So, what's it like to be a mind reader?" This one always cracks me up.

What do you actually do to support folks?

Depending on why someone comes to see me, it will determine how counseling will work. Ultimately, I help women and moms learn to regulate their nervous systems. We often recognize when we're feeling "bad," anxious, sad, angry, or out of control, but we don't always understand what's actually happening in our bodies.

I help women, first and foremost, understand how the nervous system works. I teach them ways to recognize when they're becoming dysregulated and provide techniques to return to a state of equilibrium. From there, we can address any issues that arise. Whether it's the challenges of Matrescence (transition into motherhood), Postpartum Depression or Anxiety, Infertility, Birth Trauma, or Perinatal Loss, therapy creates a sacred space for a mother to have dedicated time for herself. In this space, she can feel heard, understood, appreciated, and cared for.

What is something that you feel like you are uniquely able to help people with?

It took me a while to recognize the unique approach I bring to counseling. When I first began counseling, I assumed that all therapists offered the same type of support. However, throughout my career, I've learned how untrue that sentiment is. My unique ability lies in helping women learn to be gentle with themselves and to remain curious about their internal world without judgment, shame, or criticism.

When we maintain an inquisitive mindset about why we feel and respond the way we do, rather than being judgmental of ourselves, it opens doors to create significant shifts in our lives.

What is the one piece of advice you find yourself telling people over and over again?

Be gentle with yourself. Stop being a mean girl to yourself. Regina George was a real jerk in the movie Mean Girls. Why should you treat yourself that way?

What are the top 3 questions people ask when they first start to work with you for support?

• How long will it take until I feel better?

• Am I a bad mom?

• Can my baby be in session with me?

Are there any other comments of things about your work you would like to share that you have not shared already?

Becoming a new mom often brings out our biggest insecurities. These fears, once securely tucked away in the depths of our psyches, suddenly surface with motherhood. This can lead us to question whether we're good moms or if we're failing in our maternal roles. To address these concerns, I like to offer a brief assessment that I call the "Am I A Good Mom Test":

• Question 1: Is the baby fed?

• Question 2: Is the baby bathed?

• Question 3: Is the baby healthy, and if not, do you seek medical attention for him/her?

• Question 4: Is the baby safe?

• Question 5: Is the baby receiving affection, such as cuddles?

• Question 6: Is mom taking care of her own needs?

If these questions are answered with a 'yes,' then we can be confident that the baby's needs are being met. If questions 1-5 are answered affirmatively, we can focus on helping mom address question 6. More often than not, questions 1-5 receive a 'yes,' indicating that the baby's needs are being adequately addressed.

Through counseling, we then work towards ensuring that mom takes care of not only the baby but also herself. By doing so, we create more space for mom to feel that she's not just surviving the postpartum period but also experiencing joy within it.